I need lots of naps and a big BIG sleep tonight, 'cause it's a big BIG day tomorrow. I like being famous. Famous means lots of pats and cuddles. Look at the neat ad I put in the paper this week. Mum said she wished my book sales would 'rocket', but I didn't understand. So she said she wished the sales would take off. I still didn't understand. So she said she wished people would buy my books. Now why didn't she say that at the start? |
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Guess what people puppies? Mummy and Daddy went away but they didn’t leave me at a pet resort. They took me with them on a pack holiday and we stayed at a people resort! Bow-wow-WoW! Heaps of fun—Mummy took me for walks around the resort and even down to the beach. She took pictures of flowers and plants and other boring stuff. I wish Mummy could take pictures of smells. That would be interesting. I would like you to know how exciting it is to sniff wonderful smells.
It was a bow-wow-WoW, Gr-r-r-8, fantastic day! My favourite people puppy, Miss B came to visit me, and she brought 2 of my earlier books along for me to autograph. Mummy and Miss B took me for a walk around the stalls. Mummy talked to lots of people, and lots of people puppies talked to me and gave me lots of pats and cuddles. Here is a picture of a ‘cat girl’. She looks like a cat, but she didn’t trick me. My super-sensitive-sniffer told me she was really a people puppy disguised as a cat.
Mummy why did you go and talk to those horrible ugly dogs? Their humans thought they were lovely and really cute! You think they’re gorgeous too. Really Mum! How could you? I was a very good doggy wasn’t I?
You know Mummy, you were right about getting lots of sleeps and naps before the big day. Yeah, Mum, I know you are ALWAYS right.
It was heaps exciting! Too exciting for napping. But I was glad you brought my spare bed. ‘Cause in the end it was just so exhausting I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Only 1 big sleep left before the big day! I am so excited! But Mummy says I need to take lots of naps so I have lots of energy to enjoy myself tomorrow. I had a little think that she might be wanting to have me asleep so she could have the ‘puter to herself and because she didn’t want me round her feet and ‘being a nuisance’ [as if I ever did that]. But I told that little think to go away ‘cause I know Mummy is a generous dog lady who wants what's best for me, and that she enjoys my company 24/7! Woof woof, I am a Woof-ion. That’s what my friend Vincent called me. That’s why Mummy couldn’t draw me—she was trying to make me look like a minion. But Vincent understood that a No.1 K’9 couldn’t be a minion because that’s a different species altogether: so he made me a No.1 Woof-ion. I asked him for ‘impressive’, but he ‘splained to me that woof-ions couldn’t be impressive—but they could be cute. So he (drawed)x drew me as a very, very cute woof-ion! Bow-wow-wow-WoW! [that’s Wolf for thank you] Vincent. You are my CHAMP-ion! Mummy made a colouring-in page and a poster from the drawings—pretty good, eh? ‘Gotta go now. I need a nap AND Mummy wants the 'puter.
This is the advertisement Miss Cassandra put in the Advertiser. Note: one picture of me and one of my book. There are only 2 big sleeps left until the Kurri Kurri Festival. It’s easy-peasy to count to 2: 1 [for me], 2 [for Mummy]… I took Mummy for a big walk this morning. First of all we went to the Cessnock Advertiser office and I told Miss Cassandra that the Cessnock Multipurpose Children’s Centre had booked me for their special day the Saturday after next. Mummy gave Miss Cassandra the details of an ad for her to put into the paper. Then I took Mummy to the place where they make my business cards. She bought me a new stamp pad, just like she promised, for me to autograph my books. It’s red…now that’s not a colour I can see…but Mummy said that people puppies can see it and will like it because it’s a nice bright colour. [Mummy says she has a red hat because she likes the colour.] Then I took Mummy to get groceries and we came home and she gave me my pay [a nice meaty bone]. Then it was morning tea time and I shared my Scotch Finger with Daddy. Mummy helping me ‘sign’ my books. [It's not as easy as you might think!] Yesterday morning I took Mummy for a walk early. The paper hadn’t been delivered to our street and she wanted a copy of it—to see what Miss Sage said about us and how Miss Cassandra’s advertisement turned out. This is what Miss Sage put in the paper. Note the photo: it contains 1 picture of me, 1 picture of my book & 1 pic of Mum. Mummy was happy with everything. I was ‘specially happy to see there were 2 pictures that showed me, and two pictures of my book.
That’s 2 plus 2… and 2 plus 2 equals… er… lots of pictures about me. And there was only one picture that showed Mummy. Is that fair? Yap-yap-YES! There are only 3 big sleeps left until the Kurri Kurri Festival. I told you before I can count to three. Like there are three dogs in the Gane Pack: one real dog, me and 2 dog people, Mummy and Daddy. So I count 1 [me]… 2 [Mummy]… 3 [Daddy] There are only 3 big sleeps left until the Kurri Kurri Festival. Three big sleeps—but lots and lots and lots of naps. Yap-yap-hooray! Bow-WoW! MY books came yesterday. [Lots and lots and lots-- too many for me to count.] My friend Vincent sent me a super Super-Chewy picture for a poster Mummy was making. You know how Vincent did the cover design for MY book? And how there’s a picture on it of me flying? Well, I thought I could do better than fly in the sky. I could race a rocket in space! [Is that a fact? No—it’s imagination. Mummy said some Russian dogs really did go into space when she was a people puppy. But they didn’t come back. So I’m glad it’s in my ‘magination ‘cause I can come back home whenever I want!] Anyway, have a look at these: And here's the poster Mum made with Vincent's picture: Here are two other posters Mummy made: They were easy 'cause Mum didn't have to draw any pictures... Then there's the last one.. Oh dear, Mummy did try… She did a colouring-in page of me as a minion and then made it into a poster. Now, I’ve never met a real minion but there was a picture of people puppies dressed up as minions in the paper this morning: They look really cute. I look like a real dork! (Please, please, Vincent—can you rescue me, again—and turn me into an impressive No.1 Minion? Mummy won’t print out the colouring in page or poster until I hear back from you.) The Festival is only 3 big sleeps away, then another 3 big sleeps and then one more big sleep. [Mum says she wishes I could count past 3 because it would be a lot easier to explain things to me.] It is very, very, very exciting! And I’m all ready to go! Except for one thing. I’ve still got to autograph books. Mummy says I can have a new stamp pad for making paw prints—the black one is so boring. So next Saturday Mum can sell my books and talk to grown-up dog people and all the boring stuff. And I’ll be free to meet my people puppy fans and play with them. [I hope they’ll let me give them dog kisses… that’s giving them lots of licks in case you didn’t know.] Mummy says she’ll help me to autograph my books just as soon as they arrive from Queensland. My publisher said they finished the printing and got the parcel in the mail on Friday. I can’t wait! Hurry up Australia Post! Dave and Deb [they’re the dog people at Rams Skull Press] put a picture of the book cover and a story about me on their Facebook page. They also sent me a photo of their own real dog, Lilli Pilli—isn’t she beautiful BIG news this week people puppies and dog people!!! I am going to be famous. My publishers have sent a proof copy of my book to Mummy and she has told them to let the presses roll. So we’ll be all ready for the official release of MY book at Kurri Kurri Community Festival next Saturday. Yesterday, I took Mummy to the Cessnock Advertiser’s Office to put in an advertisement in next week’s paper—It’s going to have a picture of me and my book in it. That’s good but that’s not all! The advertising lady [Cassandra] called the reporter lady [Sage] and she took a picture of me… and my book… and Mummy to put in the paper. I went back to the newspaper office this morning because I had an interview with a FAIRFAX JOURNALIST. FACT! Here’s a picture to prove it. I told Sage
A dog always knows when people are good even if it can’t smell their own dogs on them. So I know all the ladies at the Cessnock Advertiser are friendly and kind. They are my friends now and I love them. After my interview I took mummy for a long walk. She got tired out in the heat so she turned the air con on when we got home. Now I’m finishing dictating my blog I’m looking forward to a nice nap at her feet. Maybe I’ll dream about being a ‘guest columnist’ with Fairfax media—I could write as Chewy—Cessnock’s Canine Correspondent
I really am a patient dog. When I’m ready to jump out of car and Mummy says ‘Wait’, I wait. When she says ‘okay’ I Jump out. When Mummy holds a treat in her hand and says ‘Wait’, I wait. When she says ‘okay’ I grab it with my mouth. When I’m on my lead and Mummy opens the gate and says ‘Wait’, I wait. She goes out first but when she says ‘okay’ I go out too and to take her for a walk. ‘Wait’ is not a nice word like ‘treat’ and ‘good-doggy’. But is better than ‘off’ and ‘no’ [‘specially when they are shouted.] I don’t like ‘wait’ but it’s not too bad as long as ‘okay’ comes soon after. And I am a very patient dog. But when she says words like ‘when I’m ready’ or ‘maybe’ or ‘all in good time’ it means I have to wait forever and ever… Forever and ever is a very, very, very long time. Like I’m still waiting for my book to be people-puppy ready. I am a very patient dog, but I’m not a very, very, very patient dog.
So the cover of my book is ready, but I’m still waiting.
Maybe this forever and ever will be over soon. I sure hope so. |
AuthorNow Mum can have her blog page, and I can have mine. It'll be more fun for dogs and people puppies because I, Chewbacca the Great Gane, will be writing it for you. Archives
October 2015
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