I downloaded an article on Dorothy Nolte this morning written on her death in 2005. [www.nytimes.com/2005/11/20/arts/20nolte.html] I quote from it, ‘In 1954, Mrs. Nolte, who wrote a weekly column on family matters for The Torrance Herald, a local newspaper, found herself on deadline and strapped for material. She composed a 14-line poem on childrearing that would become a mantra for millions of parents.’
The history of the ‘poem’ was interesting to me. I first read “A child learns what he lives” in the pre-pc world [by pc I mean politically correct, but it was also a pre-personal computer world!] of the 1960’s and before Dorothy Nolte had reclaimed it.
At the time it was certainly ‘ubiquitous’ as Margalit Fox writes. She continues:
Considered timeless wisdom by some and undiluted treacle by others, Mrs. Nolte's poem is organized as a series of logical propositions:
My attitude is not to judge it as ‘literature’, but to read it as a reminder of what is undeniably true. I haven’t seen it around any time lately so I’m going to copy the ‘authorised’ Mrs. Nolkes' inclusive/unisex version:
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.